Helping a Grieving Friend

Recently many of my students and families have been facing the death of family members, friends, or acquaintances. I thought it might be appropriate to provide some general ideas about how you can help a grieving friend.

When faced with the news that someone you know has died there are a range of emotions and experiences. If it is a person very close to you, it can be a struggle just putting one foot in front of the next. If you are a friend of the person grieving it can be a time when you feel helpless because the reality is that you cannot take away the hurt and sadness for your friend, but you can help!

- Listen! I know it may not feel like much, but that is often what your friend will need the most.

- Say the name of the person who died – don’t be afraid to use their name. Some people worry that if they bring up their name that it would bring up their pain. The reality is that the pain and sadness are always there, but by using the name of the person who died you give your friend permission to talk about him/ her. If you knew the person who died, share some stories or memories you had of him/ her.

- Remember that everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way and no timeline for when they will be “over” their loved ones death. Actually, I don’t think you ever get “over” a death, but you do develop a new sense of “normal” which is far different than the old “normal” (that they would really like to have back.) Remember that it is OK to cry and show emotion.

- Try to remain focused on your friend and their needs. Avoid statements like “I know how you feel” or making comparisons between your past experiences and their present grief. This can be a slippery slope as you may soon be talking all about your past experiences rather than focusing on your friend and how he/ she is doing.

- Be normal. Your friend is still your friend. While in some ways everything in their live feels like it has turned upside down, he/ she is still the same person they were before and will still look for opportunities to be and enjoy their normal activities of the past. Your friend might want to try to return as many things to normal as quickly as possible and that is certainly OK. You do not have to sit around and just be sad. Look to your friend for cues.

- Be realistic with yourself. You know what you can and cannot handle. If it simply too challenging/ emotional for you, particularly because of your past experiences, accept that and do not blame yourself.

- Be there for your friend over time. It is easy to forget that life has changed for your friend forever. Continue to provide him/ her with support over time. This can be by listening and talking, writing a card or note, or other helpful positive outreach days, weeks, or even months from now.

These ideas are in no way a complete list of ideas that you can do to try to help your grieving friend. It is also important that you allow yourself to grieve if this is someone that was important to you. Remember, if you or your friend are struggling with your grief it is important to make sure to communicate with a trusted adult. I hope that you also know that I am here to help now and in the future.

Bryan Barbin

I wanted to pass along additional information regarding the funeral arrangements for Bryan Barbin.

Calling Hours will be held on Wednesday evening from 6 - 8pm at the Schoedinger Worthington Chapel, 6699 N High St., Worthington.

Funeral Mass will be held on Thursday at 10am at St. Peter Church on Smoky Row Rd.

Bryan's Obituary appears in the Columbus Dispatch. His family also shared that they will be establishing a scholarship in Bryan's memory in lieu of flowers.

With a Heavy Heart

It is with a heavy heart that I share that Bryan Barbin, a WKHS 2008 graduate, and one of “my” former students, died yesterday. After high school, Bryan continued his education studying engineering at Ohio University. A bright young man with a promising future and close family, Bryan’s death has left a hole in the hearts and lives of his family and friends. My thoughts and prayers are with Bryan’s family as well as all of his friends who are grieving today.

If you are having a hard time dealing with Bryan’s death, please remember that there are always people available to help you. Talk to a trusted adult or remember that there is a counselor on duty at Thomas Worthington during summer school.

The Value of Education

I had grand intentions of logging on here tonight to share a useful post... and I promise I will get one up here soon, but as the day progressed today I decided I really needed to talk about the value of education!

I am incredibly grateful that I have a job I love! I am lucky that I look forward to going to work and, most days, I feel like I am good at my job too. (Which is always a plus...) And no, it is not just because it is summer break (another perk of my job) that I am realizing how grateful I am that I pursued my education and never gave up on my dreams...

Today, I was doing a very boring, insignificant chore - sweeping out my garage... and don't get me wrong, my garage is just a small one-car garage and there isn't a lot to it, but dirt had accumulated on the floor of the garage and so I needed to clean it out. Broom in hand, I set to the task and accomplished it, but in the process I managed to create and tear open a large blister and work up quite a sweat in the heat... and that is when it struck me... I am so glad that my job doesn't require this type of work each day. There are people who are (thankfully) very dedicated and display an incredible level of commitment to the work that they do each day that they can love their jobs in spite of negative working conditions like heat, snow, and physical demands. I am grateful that these individuals have the passion and desire to help our world in this way... and I'm grateful that I have *my* job. :-) No matter what job you pursue for your future, find one that makes hard work seem like fun and you will know you have found the perfect career!

Hope you are enjoying your summer - my first few days of break have been wonderful!

It's Summer!

It's (finally) official summer break for me! I am so excited! The idea of being able to sleep in and get stuff done and have a little down time - I just can't help but smile. Plus, the reality is that even though there was more than enough work to keep me busy, school is no fun without all of you there! I was pretty fortunate though, in the 6 days that students haven't had to be in the building and I was still working there was only 1 day that I didn't have a student drop by for one reason or another. :-) And, as you know, that always makes me happy. I hope you have a great summer!

Diploma Presenter

One of my absolute favorite parts of the WKHS commencement ceremony is the option students have to pick someone from their educational career (teacher, coach, counselor, etc.) to present them with their diploma. I was touched and humbled that 5 of "my" students selected me to be able to share in their graduation ceremony by giving them their diplomas. There simply are no words to explain what a huge honor this was for me!

The students that I was thrilled to be able to present with their diploma were (Left to Right): Sachi Oshima, Harrison Bassani, Haley Blanton, Clay Hedges, and Alyssa Boudinot. (We have been trying to get a group picture for a while now and luckily all 5 were able to stop in at school today so that I could get this picture to post on the blog and frame in my office.)

Alyssa, Clay, Haley, Harrison, and Sachi - It is hard to believe that you are no longer "my" students. I have enjoyed being able to get to know you, to listen to your stories, celebrate your successes, and hopefully help when dealing with disappointments. Thank you for making me smile and for letting me share in your lives. I hope you know how much I will miss you! Thanks again for allowing me to have the honor of presenting you with your diplomas - I will never forget it!

Summer School

There are a lot of productive ways that you can spend your summer break. One option is summer school. Today, most of my day at school was spent reviewing the semester failures and for a lot of students, summer school is not just a good option it is essential! If you have failed a class or are trying to get ahead or have more room for elective courses in your schedule during the year, summer school is a great option.

There are two sessions of summer school - the first session begins next Monday, June 22nd and ends on July 10th with no school on July 3rd and the second session begins July 13th and ends on July 30th. The summer school classes will be held at Thomas Worthington High School again this year. In case you failed a semester of a year long class, please be sure that you sign up for the session that corresponds to the semester that you failed. For example, if you failed 2nd semester of math, then you need to take the 2nd session of math during summer school.

Registration for summer school needs to happen as soon as possible! You will register at the Worthington Education Center (central office on Wilson Bridge Rd). You can download the summer school brochure from the Worthington Schools website. Summer school costs approximately $200 per session, but there is a significant discount available for families who qualify for the free and reduced lunch program.

If you have any questions about which classes you should be taking during summer school, feel free to contact me (via phone or e-mail) in the next few days at school. I will warn you that I will be out of the high school on Wednesday morning for a meeting, but other than that I should be around.