Hurdles or Brick Walls?

Parents, I want to encourage you all to read the book "What Made Maddy Run" by Kate Fagan.  I read the book over the summer and several of the messages have remained with me.  Including what I am going to talk about below...

Is it a Hurdle or a Brick Wall?

I realize that you know what hurdles and brick walls are, but I want to talk about them for a moment so please bear with me. 

Hurdles are something you can learn to work to overcome.  With practice, training, persistence, and dedication, you will be able to learn new strategies or perfect old strategies so that you can get beyond the struggle (hurdle) that you are facing in your life.

Brick walls are something solid and firm that, while you would love to overcome them, they aren't hurdles that can be jumped.  For brick wall types of issues, you need to find different options to work beyond these types of life problems.  They often require you to change course or, at the very least, you will need tools and strategies beyond just trying harder to get through the brick walls of life.

When you are in high school (or college) it can be hard to know if what you are up against is a brick wall or a hurdle.  And, the reality is that this will be different for every person.  For example, one type of problem may be that you don't understand your math assignments.  For many people this would be a hurdle problem in that if you keep working, seek a math tutor, ask questions of your instructor, and study in new and different ways then you can overcome the challenge.  But, there may be some students that this would be a brick wall type of a problem in that if you had planned a major that requires a ton of math and you are not only struggling with the math required, but also not enjoying the experience that is required to pursue this major, then this could become a brick wall type of a problem meaning you may have to change course.

So how do you know if it is a hurdle or a brick wall?  One of the best suggestions is to speak up and acknowledge your struggle.  If you start talking about the issues you are facing with your parents, teachers, or other adults you trust (like me), then they can help you process what you are experiencing in a way that will help identify if the challenge is a hurdle or a brick wall.  It doesn't mean that you won't be pushed and challenged if the issue is a "hurdle" and the people around you think you can get through it.

But, I need to remind you that there will be challenges in your life that are going to be brick walls.  That does NOT mean that you are a failure.  It means that you are human.  So many times students feel as if they should be able to work through everything and do it all on their own, but that is an unrealistic goal!  And it can have devastating consequences if you try to hold onto that mindset.  So please, remember that seeking support is smart and shows strength of knowing yourself and your own limitations.