Holiday Stress

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Except that for many people, it is not really the most wonderful time of year and can, in fact, be one of the most challenging times of the year.  The holiday season often presents a challenging combination of high expectations, family drama, and school pressure with semester exams - all of which can result in unbelievably high levels of stress.  This is even more prevalent if you and your family are struggling to make ends meet this holiday season.

My top recommendation for everyone is to try to keep a sense of perspective on what is reality.  It becomes very easy to get caught in the mindset that the holiday is supposed to be this picture-perfect celebration.  Yet, that is seldom the reality.  When watching TV it is nearly impossible to escape seeing commercials and holiday movies that depict images of snow gently falling, families coming together with smiles and excitement, food overflowing on the tables, loved ones unwrapping the perfect gifts, sleigh rides through parks decorated with holiday lights, and communities gathered together singing carols.  I enjoy the sentiments that the movies are trying to depict, but if we begin thinking that this is what life is really like then we are bound to be disappointed.  For example, in my family we have wonderful holidays, but we have never gone on sleigh rides or participated in community caroling and, if I am being completely honest, the wonderful moments are also mixed with stressful times of trying to get everything ready or missing those who are unable to be there for the holiday.  If I were to compare my real holidays with that perfect image seen on TV I would inevitably be disappointed.

So, what can you do to help with the holidays?

Don't expect the holidays to be perfect. They NEVER are.

Focus on what you have, not what you don't. Ignore the commercials where the husband surprises his wife with a brand new luxury car or a diamond ring. This only leaves you wondering, "What about me?" Remind yourself that it's not the stuff that makes the holidays important.

The holidays can bring back memories of loved ones that have passed away. Give yourself permission to grieve, and deal with the loss in your own way. If you want to cry, go ahead. If you want to remember your loved one in a special way, do it - light a candle, put together a scrapbook, decorate the grave stone with flowers, or whatever else you find comforting.

Feel whatever you are feeling.  Sometimes people talk about “holiday blues” or feeling depressed by the holiday stress and others might feel excited, generous or disappointed.  Try not to over-analyze how you are feeling and just experience it – acknowledge it and try to live in the moment no matter the feeling.

If you are struggling with high stress levels heading into the holidays, please make time to stop and see me so that we can talk more about it!