Thursday, December 5, 2019

What am I supposed to say to that?

I have talked with several students this week and heard about the random questions from extended family members or friends which were brought up during Thanksgiving.  Many more of you will likely come into contact with people who could ask lots of questions over winter break.

The types of questions I am referring to include:
- What colleges are you applying to?
- Where are you going to go to college?
- What are you going to study?
- What do you want to do when you grow up?

So what can you say to these questions?  Well, the truth is a great place to start.  But, I acknowledge that for some of you these questions create a great deal of anxiety because you aren't sure about what those answers might be yet.

The good news is that "yet" is a key part of the answer.  There are lots of ways that you can respond if you are not sure or are not comfortable in sharing your answer.  You can say, "I am not sure yet."  Or "I am still trying to decide."  But be aware that sometimes those answers can feel like permission to well-meaning relatives or friends who suggest that you do whatever they want at whichever colleges they feel would be a good fit.

As a result, a great idea would be to work on developing truthful answers to the questions.  You have a few weeks to prepare yourself for the visits that would bring up these questions.  So use some of the time to consider your future.  For possible careers and majors, I encourage you to take the YouScience assessments.  (If you haven't already asked for a YouScience code, please stop by the Counseling Center and ask Mrs. Dominach to give you your code.)  After you get your results, I can walk you through the different areas to help you understand what they all mean.  And then, for colleges that you are considering, use the WKHS counselor website to explore colleges and to figure out what schools might be a good fit for you.

Most of all, I want to remind you that you do not owe answers to anyone, but the people who are asking you these questions care about you and want the best for you.  So when it feels comfortable, please listen to their ideas and input and if it feels awkward or unhelpful, feel free to say, things such as "I am still trying to decide, but I am enjoying taking a few weeks off from the stress of thinking about all of this so let's change the topic for tonight."  (And you might want to have a great other topic in mind as well.)

Good luck in figuring out what you want to say to those who ask you about the future.  Feel free to come and see me if you want to brainstorm more for your specific situation!

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