Enjoy Winter Break

We made it through exams and are you are now officially half-way through the school year! 

I hope you and your families have a wonderful, relaxing, and enjoyable winter break. I hope that the time spent with your family and friends will be uplifting and help to recharge you for the new year ahead. 

I also want to remind you that it is ok if the holiday season is not actually "the most wonderful time of the year." The stress is real and it is important that you are taking care of yourself and those closest to you.

If you will travel - be safe. If you stay home - enjoy the extra down time. And above all, remember that you are valued and appreciated and needed.

Joy, peace and love is my wish for you and your families this holiday and in the year ahead. Have a great break and I will look forward to hearing all about it when we return.

Pressure

There is a LOT of pressure on high school students today. I am seeing and hearing that stress from many of my students and it is definitely more pronounced during exam week. 

The big reminder that I have for you is that your family members might be trying to talk to you about all these different aspects of your life - GPA, College, Career, etc - not because they are trying to add pressure to your life, but because they believe in you, they know what you're capable of, and they want the best for you. And yet, that can feel like pressure.

You cannot tackle all of the big life goals at once, but you can take care of the steps in front of you today. One day at a time. And repeat it consistently. In the end, you will reach the goals you have set for yourself. 

I'm here if you want to talk about the pressures you're feeling. For now though, remember that you only have 2 exams left. You can do this. Don't give up. Don't put too much stress on yourself to be perfect. Just do the best that you can for today and know that after 1 more day of school winter break and 2 weeks of down-time is ahead of you!

Caring Makes a Difference

Lately on the news and as I scroll on Social Media I have been caught between two different extremes... reading and watching stories of unbelievable tragedy and heartbreak or seeing and hearing stories about extraordinary compassion, generosity and kindness. (I suspect you are also seeing all of the tragic stories of late, but just to give a reference, the other stories I am seeing have been incredible "secret santa" stories or people displaying "random acts of kindness" for those around them in need.)

As I have wrestled to try to understand all of the scary, horrible things in our world, I also cling to these good stories. To remember that everything isn't all bad and that there absolutely is incredible love, grace and beauty in our world too. AND... it is up to each of us to make it that way!

That had me thinking about the "Charles Schulz Life Philosophy" that I believe isn't actually from Charles Schultz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip, but it is a series of questions that is often attributed to him and is a concept that (regardless of who really came up with it) I love.

You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just think about them and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress...

How did you do?

The point is that none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money or the most awards. They simply are the ones who care the most!

As we finish out this week, semester, and calendar year, I hope that you will try to shift your attention to how you can show care and compassion for the people around you. It makes a difference and our world needs more of that right now!

Good Luck in Exams

I just wanted to wish all of you good luck on your exams tomorrow (and the rest of the week.) Good luck with your last minute studying, get a good night's sleep and then tomorrow, relax, eat a good breakfast, take a deep breath and do your best on each exam!  

Remember, you don't have to be THE best, as long as you do YOUR best!

As always, I will be anxious to hear how things go for you on your exams - so stop in, visit Lexi and say hi to share an update (and, of course, you can pick up a piece of candy too.)

What do I say to that?

Since returning from Thanksgiving break, I have talked with several students and heard about the random questions from extended family members or friends which were brought up over the holiday.  Many more of you will likely come into contact with people who could ask lots of questions over winter break.

The types of questions I am referring to include:

- What colleges are you applying to?

- Where are you going to go to college?

- What are you going to study?

- What do you want to do when you grow up?

So what can you say to these questions? Well, the truth is a great place to start. But, I acknowledge that for some of you these questions create a great deal of anxiety because you aren't sure about what those answers might be yet.

The good news is that "yet" is a key part of the answer. There are lots of ways that you can respond if you are not sure or are not comfortable in sharing your answer. You can say, "I am not sure yet." Or "I am still trying to decide." But be aware that sometimes those answers can feel like permission to well-meaning relatives or friends who suggest that you do whatever they want at whichever colleges they feel would be a good fit and I know that sometimes that can become overwhelming or uncomfortable.

Most of all, I want to remind you that you do not owe answers to anyone, but the people who are asking you these questions care about you and want the best for you. So when it feels comfortable, please listen to their ideas and input and if it feels awkward or unhelpful, feel free to say, things such as "I am still trying to decide, but I am enjoying taking a few weeks off from the stress of thinking about all of this so let's change the topic for tonight." (And you might want to have a great other topic in mind as well.)

Recently Forbes ran 2 articles that dealt with the same concept...

The first is aimed at the adults who might be interacting with teens over the holidays to remind them that well-intentioned questions although aimed at trying to get to know the teens better and hear about their plans can feel like pressure. This article is College Admissions Leaders Share Tips for Talking to Teens at the Holidays.

The second article is aimed at the teens who might be dealing with the family member questions. It gives lots of examples of other ways you can pivot the conversation to learn more about the adult's perspective and experience rather than feeling on the spot to answer about your own thoughts. This article is The College Applicant's Guide to Holiday Season Serenity.

Good luck in figuring out what you want to say to those who ask you about the future. Feel free to come and see me if you want to brainstorm more for your specific situation!

Steady Study Progress

How are you feeling about your progress with studying? I am hoping that you had a productive weekend getting work accomplished and reviewing your materials... the bitter cold definitely helped make staying inside more desirable.

The reality is that your academic success isn't just about exams, but right now I know a lot of your time and attention has been on exam preparation and that is certainly valuable. Remember, you have been preparing for your exams every day since the start of the semester back in August. So while studying to review the content and make sure that you are confident and prepared is important, it isn't like you are trying to learn information for the first time.

One of the keys for achieving academic success is trying to pace yourself while eliminating distractions so that you can maintain your focus. There are lots of strategies that can be effective to help decrease distractions to help you sustain focus on studying. Turning off the tv, music or your cell phone can be great ideas to start. For many students the distraction is on the computer itself with notifications, messages, and more tempting you to shift to anything other than studying because, sadly, everything else is going to seem more exciting and interesting than studying.

Be patient with yourself if you realize that you got off track and immediately switch back to what you were aiming to be doing in the time given. Don't hesitate to set up blocks or use other tools (including your parents) to help you focus on what you need to be accomplishing. And, of course, remember that 20 minutes of truly focused study time is going to be WAY more valuable than an hour of distracted, half-hearted studying.

Although I fear giving you one more opportunity to distract yourself from actually studying, here is an article on: Training your brain- how to focus better and avoid distractions.

Good luck with studying! Remember, this week is it and then you get a long winter break! You can do this!

**Just a reminder, this post is also being shared on the NEW WKHS Counselor blog. This blog site will no longer be active beyond 2025 so you can transition to receive all blog posts emailed directly to you by subscribing to the new blog site.**

4 A's of Stress Management

Last night I wrote about test anxiety. But the reality is that you all have a lot more stress in your lives than just exams. You have stress of the holidays. Stress of a change in routine coming with winter break. You may be feeling stressed about upcoming class changes for 2nd semester. Plus, just being a teenager today is very stressful!

The Mayo Clinic promotes a stress management strategy known as the 4 A's: avoid, alter, accept, and adapt.  The goal is that in every stressful situation we can look at it from the mindset of how we can apply at least one of these principles.

Avoid: Believe it or not, a lot of stress can simply be avoided. Plan ahead, learn to say no, and ditch parts of your to-do list (low priority items).

Alter: Take inventory of whatever stressful situation you find yourself in, then consider ways you change or modify it for the better.

Accept: Sometimes we have no other option than to accept things the way they are. When this is the case, it is important to talk to someone, to forgive, to practice positive self-talk, and to learn from our mistakes.

Adapt: There are times when we need to adjust or revise the standards and expectations we set upon ourselves, which many times are unreasonable. What can help to change one’s perspective is to ask yourself, “Will this matter in a year or in five years?”

Stress is a part of life. It doesn't need to control your whole life though! Try to think about ways that you can apply the 4 A's to get an A+ in Stress Management.