Your Life Challenges

I had lots of time to think over spring break.  (Perhaps too much time...)  And I kept coming back to thoughts about how so many of you are dealing with really hard things in your lives.  The challenges may be big or small and the impact from them may last a day or a lifetime, but no matter what, each of you are facing your own unique battles.  What makes this even harder is that on the outside, you appear "FINE."  Perhaps you are fine most of the time, but that doesn't mean that there aren't moments that feel hard or more difficult.  And, in spite of the fact that this is something nearly all of you are dealing with, I suspect that most of you feel like you are the only one going through such challenges.

So here are some of my reflections.

1. Be nice.  Kinder than you think you need to be.  To others and to YOURSELF!  You are often your toughest critic and you deserve the same level of compassion that you are willing to extend to those around you.

2.  Seek support.  I am here to help you and so are your teachers, your friends and, of course, your family.  Asking for help and acknowledging that you are facing tough challenges in your world is the most courageous thing you can do.  I promise, if you come to me, I will NOT see you as weak and I will be thankful that you had the strength to share what it is that you are facing in your life.

3.  There is no such thing as too small.  If it is on your mind, if it is weighing on you, if it is frustrating or hurting or annoying to you -- then it matters!  Do not belittle how you think or feel.

4.  Take it one step at a time.  Part of the challenge of life and especially for teenagers today is that difficulties refuse to slow down and come one at a time.  In fact, quite often life shifts from total calm to middle of a massive storm in just seconds.  If your problems would line up and come one at a time, you'd be completely fine, but that isn't how life works.  And so, while you may not be able to solve all of the problems in front of you in an instant, you will be able to make progress by taking it one step at a time.  Be patient with yourself and if you can't solve the problem remember that there are hundreds of coping strategies that you can use to help manage until there is a solution.

5.  Try not to jump to conclusions or assume the worst.  I feel guilty even saying this one because I definitely have jumped to the worst possible scenarios on many occasions, but here is the thing - it made me a nervous wreck as I waited for the news and it didn't have any actual impact on how it all played out.  Try to remind yourself that the story you are telling yourself is just one possible story and remain open to the possibility that there are other reasons that something may be happening or outcomes which may result from this situation.

6.  Be real.  Have the courage to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling and to express those feelings and emotions.  Laugh, cry, celebrate, or scream - whatever you feel, lean into those emotions (at least with some of the people closest to you who you can trust with the real you).  It is ok to not be "fine" and it is ok to be far better than "fine" too. 

Please remember that whatever it is you are dealing with today in your life - significant problem or not - if you want the support and help or just a safe place to talk it through with someone then please remember that I am here!