Helping a Grieving Friend

Recently many of my students and families have been facing the death of family members, friends, or acquaintances. I thought it might be appropriate to provide some general ideas about how you can help a grieving friend.

When faced with the news that someone you know has died there are a range of emotions and experiences. If it is a person very close to you, it can be a struggle just putting one foot in front of the next. If you are a friend of the person grieving it can be a time when you feel helpless because the reality is that you cannot take away the hurt and sadness for your friend, but you can help!

- Listen! I know it may not feel like much, but that is often what your friend will need the most.

- Say the name of the person who died – don’t be afraid to use their name. Some people worry that if they bring up their name that it would bring up their pain. The reality is that the pain and sadness are always there, but by using the name of the person who died you give your friend permission to talk about him/ her. If you knew the person who died, share some stories or memories you had of him/ her.

- Remember that everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way and no timeline for when they will be “over” their loved ones death. Actually, I don’t think you ever get “over” a death, but you do develop a new sense of “normal” which is far different than the old “normal” (that they would really like to have back.) Remember that it is OK to cry and show emotion.

- Try to remain focused on your friend and their needs. Avoid statements like “I know how you feel” or making comparisons between your past experiences and their present grief. This can be a slippery slope as you may soon be talking all about your past experiences rather than focusing on your friend and how he/ she is doing.

- Be normal. Your friend is still your friend. While in some ways everything in their live feels like it has turned upside down, he/ she is still the same person they were before and will still look for opportunities to be and enjoy their normal activities of the past. Your friend might want to try to return as many things to normal as quickly as possible and that is certainly OK. You do not have to sit around and just be sad. Look to your friend for cues.

- Be realistic with yourself. You know what you can and cannot handle. If it simply too challenging/ emotional for you, particularly because of your past experiences, accept that and do not blame yourself.

- Be there for your friend over time. It is easy to forget that life has changed for your friend forever. Continue to provide him/ her with support over time. This can be by listening and talking, writing a card or note, or other helpful positive outreach days, weeks, or even months from now.

These ideas are in no way a complete list of ideas that you can do to try to help your grieving friend. It is also important that you allow yourself to grieve if this is someone that was important to you. Remember, if you or your friend are struggling with your grief it is important to make sure to communicate with a trusted adult. I hope that you also know that I am here to help now and in the future.

Bryan Barbin

I wanted to pass along additional information regarding the funeral arrangements for Bryan Barbin.

Calling Hours will be held on Wednesday evening from 6 - 8pm at the Schoedinger Worthington Chapel, 6699 N High St., Worthington.

Funeral Mass will be held on Thursday at 10am at St. Peter Church on Smoky Row Rd.

Bryan's Obituary appears in the Columbus Dispatch. His family also shared that they will be establishing a scholarship in Bryan's memory in lieu of flowers.

With a Heavy Heart

It is with a heavy heart that I share that Bryan Barbin, a WKHS 2008 graduate, and one of “my” former students, died yesterday. After high school, Bryan continued his education studying engineering at Ohio University. A bright young man with a promising future and close family, Bryan’s death has left a hole in the hearts and lives of his family and friends. My thoughts and prayers are with Bryan’s family as well as all of his friends who are grieving today.

If you are having a hard time dealing with Bryan’s death, please remember that there are always people available to help you. Talk to a trusted adult or remember that there is a counselor on duty at Thomas Worthington during summer school.

The Value of Education

I had grand intentions of logging on here tonight to share a useful post... and I promise I will get one up here soon, but as the day progressed today I decided I really needed to talk about the value of education!

I am incredibly grateful that I have a job I love! I am lucky that I look forward to going to work and, most days, I feel like I am good at my job too. (Which is always a plus...) And no, it is not just because it is summer break (another perk of my job) that I am realizing how grateful I am that I pursued my education and never gave up on my dreams...

Today, I was doing a very boring, insignificant chore - sweeping out my garage... and don't get me wrong, my garage is just a small one-car garage and there isn't a lot to it, but dirt had accumulated on the floor of the garage and so I needed to clean it out. Broom in hand, I set to the task and accomplished it, but in the process I managed to create and tear open a large blister and work up quite a sweat in the heat... and that is when it struck me... I am so glad that my job doesn't require this type of work each day. There are people who are (thankfully) very dedicated and display an incredible level of commitment to the work that they do each day that they can love their jobs in spite of negative working conditions like heat, snow, and physical demands. I am grateful that these individuals have the passion and desire to help our world in this way... and I'm grateful that I have *my* job. :-) No matter what job you pursue for your future, find one that makes hard work seem like fun and you will know you have found the perfect career!

Hope you are enjoying your summer - my first few days of break have been wonderful!

It's Summer!

It's (finally) official summer break for me! I am so excited! The idea of being able to sleep in and get stuff done and have a little down time - I just can't help but smile. Plus, the reality is that even though there was more than enough work to keep me busy, school is no fun without all of you there! I was pretty fortunate though, in the 6 days that students haven't had to be in the building and I was still working there was only 1 day that I didn't have a student drop by for one reason or another. :-) And, as you know, that always makes me happy. I hope you have a great summer!

Diploma Presenter

One of my absolute favorite parts of the WKHS commencement ceremony is the option students have to pick someone from their educational career (teacher, coach, counselor, etc.) to present them with their diploma. I was touched and humbled that 5 of "my" students selected me to be able to share in their graduation ceremony by giving them their diplomas. There simply are no words to explain what a huge honor this was for me!

The students that I was thrilled to be able to present with their diploma were (Left to Right): Sachi Oshima, Harrison Bassani, Haley Blanton, Clay Hedges, and Alyssa Boudinot. (We have been trying to get a group picture for a while now and luckily all 5 were able to stop in at school today so that I could get this picture to post on the blog and frame in my office.)

Alyssa, Clay, Haley, Harrison, and Sachi - It is hard to believe that you are no longer "my" students. I have enjoyed being able to get to know you, to listen to your stories, celebrate your successes, and hopefully help when dealing with disappointments. Thank you for making me smile and for letting me share in your lives. I hope you know how much I will miss you! Thanks again for allowing me to have the honor of presenting you with your diplomas - I will never forget it!

Summer School

There are a lot of productive ways that you can spend your summer break. One option is summer school. Today, most of my day at school was spent reviewing the semester failures and for a lot of students, summer school is not just a good option it is essential! If you have failed a class or are trying to get ahead or have more room for elective courses in your schedule during the year, summer school is a great option.

There are two sessions of summer school - the first session begins next Monday, June 22nd and ends on July 10th with no school on July 3rd and the second session begins July 13th and ends on July 30th. The summer school classes will be held at Thomas Worthington High School again this year. In case you failed a semester of a year long class, please be sure that you sign up for the session that corresponds to the semester that you failed. For example, if you failed 2nd semester of math, then you need to take the 2nd session of math during summer school.

Registration for summer school needs to happen as soon as possible! You will register at the Worthington Education Center (central office on Wilson Bridge Rd). You can download the summer school brochure from the Worthington Schools website. Summer school costs approximately $200 per session, but there is a significant discount available for families who qualify for the free and reduced lunch program.

If you have any questions about which classes you should be taking during summer school, feel free to contact me (via phone or e-mail) in the next few days at school. I will warn you that I will be out of the high school on Wednesday morning for a meeting, but other than that I should be around.

My Final Week

Did you enjoy your first weekend of the summer? I know that some of you were busy taking the ACT on Saturday morning and I hope that you felt like it went well. Others were enjoying the continuing graduation party circuit that is starting to come to a close. And some of you were sleeping in or starting a summer job. No matter how you spent the weekend, I hope it was fun.

I still have a week left of school so I am looking forward to next weekend as being *my* official start of summer. I wanted to make sure you were aware that this summer I will still be updating my blog, but it will be less frequent than the school-year norm of 5 posts a week. I am guessing that I will try to post an update at least 1 or 2 times each week.

I will also be checking e-mail at school throughout the summer, but will not have access to my school voicemail so if you need to reach me for any reason this summer, e-mail is definitely the way to go.

Hope you are not bored with the start of summer. ;-)

It's (finally) Summertime!

Congratulations! You have successfully completed another school year. I hope exams went well and that your grades for the 2nd semester will be strong. Teachers will be in the building tomorrow working on finalizing grades and I will still be working through part (or maybe all) of next week. Have I mentioned lately how jealous I am that you get to sleep in and enjoy your summer vacation already? :-)

More than you realize...

It is hard to believe that tomorrow is the last day of school for the 2008-09 school year! Don't get me wrong, I am as ready for summer break as anyone else, but it really feels as if we were just starting the school year and all of you were coming into my office to request changes to your schedule. (Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that my office seems to be a revolving door with people coming in to request changes to next year's schedule.) Getting schedules to work is a more daunting task than most would suspect and we do our best to meet all of your needs, but please be reasonable and realistic. It isn't always possible to get the "perfect" schedule and yet we are doing the best we can to get you into the classes that you selected in February.

In addition to the fact that summer break will be starting very soon, one of the best parts of this time of year has to be the return of all of my "former" students who have graduated, headed off to college, but still make time to stop back in to visit. These visits mean more than I can explain. I care about all of my students, so when kids come back to visit, it is definitely a highlight. I love seeing and hearing about what the students are doing and accomplishing since their graduation from Kilbourne. The depth of my gratitude for these return visits was intensified from a conversation that I had with a Kilbourne graduate at a recent graduation party. I introduced myself to the 2006 graduate (please note that this was just 3 years ago, but was before I was at WKHS) and explained that I am a counselor at Kilbourne. He paused and then said he didn't think he could even remember who his counselor was from when he was in high school. That made me start to panic a little bit... it breaks my heart to think that just 3 years out of high school any of my students would say that they didn't know who their counselor was. Fortunately, I had a few of my 2007 and 2008 graduates stop in to visit over the last few days and they have assured me that they won't forget me within the 3 year time period... 4 years, maybe, but definitely not three. :-)

Good luck on your final day of exams!

Exams and Summer School

How was the first day of exams? I hope you did well and are feeling prepared for the final two days of exams. Just as a reminder, you earn credits based on the semester grades. Most classes are graded on a scale that gives 40% to your 3rd quarter grade, 40% to your 4th quarter grade, and 20% to your final exam and that cumulative grade is your semester grade which will appear on your transcript. With exams worth so much, it is often able to help you improve grades significantly.

As a reminder, if you did not pass a class during the 1st semester or if you do not pass any of your classes this semester, it is important to consider registering for summer school! It is particularly important to consider summer school if you have failed an English class since students must pass 4 full credits in order to graduate or a Math class since the content builds and you must pass both semesters of the class before you can progress on to the next math course. Summer school registration is still being accepted. You were given summer school brochures back in February with the course registration materials, but if you need a new copy you can pick up an extra copy in the counseling center or you can download the materials on the Worthington Website.

A Letter to "My" Seniors

To “My” Seniors-

Congratulations on your graduation! Today, when you finally woke up, you were no longer high school students, which also means you are now my “former” students. When I started at Worthington Kilbourne High School, your class was just beginning their sophomore year and you were my youngest group in the school. It is hard to believe how quickly the last three years have passed and that you are now graduates. No matter if you were one of my students for three years or just for your final year of high school, I want you to know how fortunate I feel to have had the opportunity to get to know you.

There are so many memories that I will cherish from your group – times that you have made me laugh like hearing stories of chocolate covered math tests, moments of being proud such as watching you perform at a concert or compete athletically, periods of excitement and joy like at this weekend’s lacrosse state championship and commencement ceremony, and even times where I was amazed by your inner strength as I watched you face heart-breaks and disappointments when life didn’t go as you had hoped or planned. Thank you for allowing me to have the honor of joining you on this journey!

I never cease to be inspired, amazed, impressed, and proud of the men and women you are and all that you have accomplished. Always remember that I am behind you and that I believe in you! Good luck next year at college and in life beyond WKHS! I will miss you!

With love and gratitude,
Miss Abbott

PS - I hope that you will stay in touch in the future to let me know about your new adventures in life.

Congratulations Graduates!

Congratulations to the 2009 WKHS Graduates! Today was a wonderful day celebrating the impact and accomplishments of the seniors and sending them into the future with best wishes filled with hope. It was exciting to watch each student walk across the stage, receive their diploma and to celebrate their 12 years of education. I think one of my favorite parts was actually after the ceremony was over as "my students" marched out and I had a chance to say one final congratulations with lots of smiles, high-fives, and hugs. Even though you are now officially "former students" please know that I will always care about you!I was so proud and excited for Corey Castelli (class president) who did a nice job with his graduation speech and for Sachi Oshima who was inducted into the WKHS Hall of Fame! Congratulations to both of you!

While taking pictures there were lots of requests that I post some on my blog so here are some random shots from today...

State Champions!

Congratulations to the entire WKHS Men's Lacrosse team on their thrilling victory over UA in today's 2009 State Championship!

I have been sitting here trying to find a way to express how excited and proud I am for "my" athletes who are now state champions and yet words fail me. Luke, Colt, Will, Josh, Tim, Juan, and Charlie - Congratulations! All of your hard work and dedication over the past season was leading up to this moment. Enjoy the celebration and take pride in your accomplishments! And, of course, always know that I am proud of you!

In addition to the team winning the State Championship, Will Campbell also earned individual honors when he was named the Offensive Most Valuable Player of the game! Will had 2 goals during the game and his final goal put Kilbourne ahead for good. Congratulations Will - you deserve it and I am so thankful that you are still just a junior so that I have you as one of "my" students for another year! :-)

Good Luck!

Good Luck to the entire WKHS Men's Lacrosse Team who will be competing today at 5:00pm in the State Championship! (Kilbourne is technically the home team, but will be playing at UA against UA.) Special good luck wishes to "my" students who are on the Varisty Guys Lacrosse Team - Seniors (top picture, left to right): Colt Carnahan, Luke Bott, Josh Burton, Tim Davis, and Juan Contreras and non-Seniors (bottom picture, left to right): Charlie Bassani and Will Campbell!
I am so excited for you and I hope you enjoy every moment of the State Championship game!Good Luck!

Baccalaureate

Tonight I had the chance to attend the Baccalaureate Ceremony for this year's seniors at Worthington Christian Church. Planned by a committee of 7 seniors and some parent advisors, this ceremony is a great tradition for kicking off the graduation weekend. The students responsible for planning the event put a great deal of time and effort into the night and it was certainly worth it. 3 of "my" students were on the committee - Amy Davidson, Joe Donovan, and Katherine Hyatt Hawkins.

A large number of "my" kids were featured as a part of the evening's events.

Sachi Oshima welcomed everyone and served as the host introducing all of the performers.

Jack Doran performed the prelude, accompanied a vocal soloist, performed a piano solo that he wrote himself, and was, of course, in the group with the rest of the senior band members. Unfortunately, the location of the piano made it very challenging to get a good picture of Jack.

Jordan Coldiron danced to "Lift Me Up" with two other senior girls.

Jonathan Carroll accompanied three senior girls on the guitar.

Katherine Hyatt Hawkins read a Kilbourne Top 10 List that generated quite a few laughs.

The members of the senior band, including Elizabeth Albaugh, David Bock, Emily Bright, and Jack Doran performed Hang on Sloopy as a part of the introduction of the Keynote Speaker, Dr. E. Gordon Gee, President of The Ohio State University.

Dr. Gee was officially introduced by Sarah Capella. (And, he then gave an outstanding talk with a lot of funny and entertaining stories.)

Joe Donovan read a poem called "A Touch of Love" about growing up from baby to high school graduate.

Katherine Hyatt Hawkins danced a solo to "I Hope You Dance"

The Choir Seniors including "my" students, Abel Araya, John Barry, Jonathan Carroll, Nicole Cason, and Michelle Dutton, performed the choir's signature song, "Come to the Water" which always gives me chills.

And then the evening was closed by Amy Davidson.

(I told you... a LOT of "my" students were instrumental in making tonight a successful event!)

The Final Countdown

The countdown is on - final exams will begin in just a few days and another school year will conclude. 20% of your grade will come down to this one test, so it is important to study now so that you will be completely prepared for your exams. Remember, the time you put in now will determine how well you do on your exam, so please take the time to study!

Many of you have been in to see me over the past few days to see your schedule for next year, but if you haven't had a chance to stop in yet you are welcome to stop by during lunch or any off periods.

For those of you needing a reminder about the exam schedule:

Tuesday:

7:45 - 9:45 2nd period exam

10:00 - 12:00 5th period exam

12:00 - 1:00 Lunch

1:05 - 3:05 8th period exam

Wednesday:

7:45 - 9:45 1st period exam

10:00 - 12:00 6th period exam

12:00 - 1:00 Lunch

1:05 - 3:05 7th period exam

Thursday:

7:45 - 9:45 3rd period exam

10:00 - 12:00 4th period exam

12:00 - 1:00 NO Lunch Provided!

1:05 - 3:05 Exam Make Up Period

Impressive Accomplishments

Several WKHS students have continued to receive awards and recognitions.

- Congratulations to Marck Palliotto who received 1st Team All-OCC Honors and was named Co-Player of the Year for Baseball! Marck also received 1st Team All Dispatch Agonis, 1st Team All District, and 1st Team All Muzuno which is for the entire state of Ohio!

- Congratulations to Jordan Brown who received Honorable Mention All-OCC in Softball!

Yesterday, the 13 seniors who participated in Senior Project spent several hours in the commons showcasing their experiences and accomplishments. 5 of the students participating were "my" students including: Alyssa Block, Colt Carnahan, Casey Crites, Henrietta Deny, and Sarah Hanson. (Unfortunately, I was only able to grab a picture with 3 of them because I had been told they would be there until 2:30, but they were allowed to leave early so I missed Casey & Sarah in the picture.) It sounded as if they all had meaningful and informative experiences during the last month as they spent time in a career field of interest. Congratulations and Great Job on your Senior Projects!

College Volleyball Commitment

Today after school, Johnathan Barry was surrounded by his family, coaches, and volleyball teammates as he declared his commitment to play collegiate volleyball next year at Eastern Mennonite University. EMU is located in Harrisonburg, Virginia and John hopes to be able to contribute to the team immediately. The coaching staff and his parents all shared a few words before John thanked those in attendance as well as other individuals who have had a significant impact on his volleyball career and "signed." Congratulations John! I am proud of you for your dedication to volleyball and I am excited for you and your future at EMU!

Final Transcript

Every senior student that is planning on attending a 2-year or 4-year college next year needs to make sure that you have requested a copy of your final transcript. As was the process when you applied to college earlier this year, you must complete a transcript release form in order to grant us permission to send your transcript. The yellow transcript release forms are located on the cabinets in the middle of the Counseling and Career Center or you can download a copy from PrepHQ in the Shared Files area. After you have completed your transcript release form, please turn it in with $2.00 to Mrs. Hoyt or one of the secretaries. The transcripts will be mailed by Mrs. Hoyt this summer after all grades are submitted.