Plans...

I wanted to write this last night... but honestly, I was struggling with the news that we aren’t able to return to school for the end of the year the way I had hoped and planned.  I know that it's necessary and important for the health and well-being of each of you and for our community. I am thankful that we still get to engage electronically and that socially distant doesn’t mean completely cut off. And I am hopeful that new memories are being built and priorities are being realigned as families are spending more time together.  But even though I can think all of that and I truly believe all of that, I’m still just really sad. And I know that I am sad because of how fortunate I am... I am so lucky that I have a job I love so much that I desperately miss being there and seeing you all each day.

But, here’s my challenge... this isn’t about me. I mean, yes, of course it is because it’s impacting me too, but the main reason my heart is hurting so bad is for all of YOU!  For all you are missing, for all you’re sad about, for all the disappointments you’re experiencing, for the fears you are facing, for the uncertainty you are struggling to manage, for the anger and hurt you are encountering, and for whatever it is that YOU feel today.  We are all walking the same path but we experience it in very different ways.  In fact, today I have talked to several students who had already gone through the feelings I have been struggling with over the last 24 hours because they had already come to the conclusion that we wouldn’t get to return to the building and, as a result, they had already grieved that loss.  But, no matter where you are with your feelings, I firmly believe that we have to lean into our own feelings and emotions – even if they are difficult or heavy. We have to give ourselves the space and permission, and muster up the courage to fully feel whatever it is we are feeling. When you can name it and be present with it, then you can also heal from it.

And now, here I am... and still I have no perfect words for you. I will say that I began to gain some perspective in that I truly believe that while this is heartbreaking and sad, it is something we can and will get through. There are real problems- big, life changing, can never adjust, adapt, and overcome kinds of problems in our world today. And this is not one of them. We will still connect - it will just be remotely instead of in person. We will still honor our seniors and the difference they have made over the last four years. And we will somehow come through this changed, but stronger and more resilient. And wow, what a gift that will be from this pandemic.  And no, that new perspective didn’t fully take away my sadness, but I find it valuable to allow the emotions and feelings of both to sit side by side.  It isn’t either/ or – it is and.  Please know it is ok to be sad and to know that it will be ok. 

One of my personal self care strategies is trying to find the right picture quote for different situations.  The one that stuck out to me yesterday was, “Your purpose didn’t change, your plan did.”  And obviously that applies to me in that I believe my job is a huge part of my attempt to fulfill my purpose in life. But as I was reflecting on that concept it also made me think of how this applies to all of you too. You go to school to learn. You still attend school, but your plan of how that would look and feel has changed. You interact with friends and family members to celebrate how important they are in your life. And yet your plans of physically being together and hanging out have changed. And, for the seniors, of course you graduate to celebrate the accomplishments of 13 years of education, to recognize how much you have learned and grown, and to acknowledge the excitement of the future which is before you. But the plan for how the end of your senior year would look has been shifted. But the rest of that stuff… the purpose parts... those are the areas that matter!  And no matter how awry our plans go and how overwhelming and sad we may personally find it that our “plan” for 4th quarter of 2020 didn’t go the way we wanted, I know that good is still here too because it is within each of you!

So please, let me remind you... you still have a purpose!!! You matter to me, you matter to our school, you matter to our community. You are not alone. There are people, like me, who are still in your corner, caring and believing in you... and we will always be no more than a call, text or email away!