Resume of Failures

I recently came across a sheet titled: Your Resume of Failures by Mayra that I had printed way back in 2011 and saved as a reminder for myself.  I know that when I printed it I was just saving it for myself, but unfortunately that means I don't know how to attribute credit for it now... but as I read it again I realized that while the message most definitely applies to my life, I suspect it will also apply to your life.  And so I wanted to share it with you.  I hope that you will think about the times and ways that you have grown from failures, set-backs, embarrassments, and heartbreaks.  I firmly believe that talking about them shows your strength!


Your "Resume of Failures"

I honestly believe that it is our failures, not our successes, that bond us.  Think about it.  If you know someone who has gone through a similar "debilitating" experience (loss, betrayal, abuse, addiction, death, anxiety, sorrow, embarrassment, etc.), you tend to feel a certain bond with that person... as if they "know what you know."

One difficulty we encounter with failure is making the time to talk about it.  While our culture loves and thrives on talking about the failures of others, sadly, we are seldom courageous enough to discuss our own.  We feel shame.  We want to hide.  But this is exactly what we must work through in order to have our "failure" be something of value.  Here is my list of what I consider the gifts of failure.

The Gifts of Failure:

1. For showing me that I was wrong
2. For showing me my false beliefs
3. For showing me my humanity
4. For teaching me humility
5. For teaching me self-compassion
6. For teaching me self-forgiveness
7. For the opportunity to reassess
8. For the opportunity to try again
9. For its connecting power (better bonding agent than success!)
10. For how failure leads to truth

So you see, there is great value in failure.  It is precisely through the trials and erros of life that we become more of who we are.  How we get to the root of who we are.  How our layers of false beliefs, "shoulds," and "musts" are challenged and are then able to be laid to rest.

Here is a little secret: while your "failure" was certainly awful, painful, soul sucking, embarrassing and hurtful, it is really not that unique... really.  We like to think "we are the only person who ever experienced this!" but the truth of the matter is that we are not.

Any human being who is willing to share their "resume of failures" and who can walk in grace and compassion is someone to admire and someone who I would proudly call friend.