And, for those of you whose response to that is, "what is she talking about, I don't talk to myself" - I counter that this response is exactly that voice in your head that I am talking about. ;-)
The reality is we all talk to ourselves and it happens so naturally and so frequently that we don't always stop to reflect on what we are saying or where those messages come from. As I outside shoveling my driveway from our surprise snow day on Friday, I had nothing to distract me from the cold and the snow than my thoughts and the conversations happening with myself.
So here are a few of my moments of self-disclosure... I am a (most of the time) recovering perfectionist. I like to do things well. I tend to go with the motto, if I am going to do it at all then I want to do it well or else why bother. But as I have learned in this job as well as through extensive reading, perfectionism isn't really about achieving at my highest potential - it is more about pleasing others - hustling to try to convince others that you are worth acceptance and belonging. (If you have ever read anything by Brene Brown which is an author that I am obsessed with, then this is a concept that you will recognize from her... and if you haven't read any of her books or watched her TED talks, then you really should! But that is a future blog post in and of itself.) Yesterday, my perfectionism was in full blown mode while I was out shoveling my driveway. I would look back up part of the drive way and see a spot that I hadn't gone all the way out to the edge of the drive way and walk back up to get that little area that I had missed. And the conversations I was having in my own head had nothing to do with trying to impress anyone else because really, who sees or cares about my driveway except for me. But it had everything to do with what I believed a good and responsible homeowner "should" do.
Long story about me but my point is that we all get caught up in "should" moments. We all have times where we don't feel good enough or smart enough or talented enough or insert whatever "__ enough" word you tend to compare yourself to others over. And in those moments, our self talk often gets really mean. And anytime you hear the word "should" happening in your mind, I want to encourage you to pause and reflect on it. Is it actually something that you want to do and is it something that you believe will be good for you and others? Or is it something that you are doing because it would look good and therefore you would be deemed good enough by others? Because if that is the reason, chances are the self talk that you have going with the conversation in your head is not particularly positive.
The first step in improving our level of happiness comes from recognizing our self talk. Once you recognize it then you can decide if you want to do something about it or not. So that is my challenge for you - try to pay attention to your self talk and the messages you are telling yourself. And if the things you are saying in your own head are not said with the same level of grace, compassion and understanding that you would extend to your best friend, then you shouldn't be saying it to yourself. (In other words - we need to start talking to ourselves in the same ways that we would talk to our friends.)
I hope that you are enjoying this 5 day weekend! It also means that we will have a big adjustment to being back for 5 days of school. Please be sure to register for your classes for next year on Infinite Campus if you have not already done so. We left the window open through the weekend in case you forgot to submit your requests. And, for those of you who might have left your papers at school when you left on Tuesday, don't forget that you can download all of the forms from the counselor website so that you can select the appropriate course numbers that you are looking for in selecting your classes. Enjoy your last day and I can assure you that both Lexi and I are looking forward to seeing you on Monday!
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