Choices & Consequences

Choices and consequences are package deals.  Perhaps this is the most obvious post I have ever written, but I'd like to have you pause for a moment and reflect on how your choices impact you every day.  If you make a good choice, most of the time, good things will happen.  If you make a poor choice, then frequently, bad things will happen.

Let me be clear, consequences are not always negative - in fact, they are just as often positive, but I think that the word consequence has a negative connotation and it is what we most often focus on.  Perhaps it would help if I gave a few examples to consider of both negative and positive choices and consequences...

If you do your homework (choice), then you will be prepared for class and prepared for the upcoming assessments (consequence).  On the flip side of that, if you do not do your homework (choice), then you will not be prepared for class and less prepared for the assessments (consequence).  Doing homework is a simple example, but the concept also applies when you think of more complex life issues.  Lying to your parents (choice) will typically lead to restricted privileges and a loss of their trust (consequence).  Volunteering your time with an organization that matters to you (choice) often leads to feeling good about helping others (consequence), but it may also mean that you have to sacrifice time with friends or juggle other responsibilities (also consequences).  Talking to multiple guys at the same time (choice) often creates drama with arguments, betrayal and hurt feelings (consequence).  Yelling at your brother (choice) may result in a strained relationship that includes less trust (consequence).  Clearly, some of the consequences from the choices you make will have an immediate outcome, but often those consequences will be longer term in nature.

No matter what choices you make, it is important to remember that you have the opportunity to make whatever choices you want, but they are directly tied to the consequences you will have as a result of that decision.  When you feel as if you have to hide your decisions, lie about them, or make excuses for your actions or words, then that is probably a sign that your choice is going to have a negative consequence.  If you want a different outcome, then you need to make a different choice!

It is hard when people feel as if they are just a victim of circumstances and don't recognize their role in the decisions they have made and how that is related to the situation they find themselves in today.  Obviously choices are what you do, but you also have choices in what you say, how you manage your emotions, and how you process the things that happen in your life.  I know that this is a learning experience, but I hope you will try to think about your choices and if they are leading you closer to the life you want for yourself or if the consequences are taking you away from what you had envisioned.  It's important to ask yourself - is what you're doing today getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow?  As always, if you are struggling with your choices and the connected consequences, please don't hesitate to stop and see me so that we can talk about it in more depth.